Changes is neccessary

I know some people have a hard time understanding other people putting all money on clothes and material things, and I will try to explain my point of view. Had this discussion briefly with a colleague today and that’s why it came to my mind J

I love clothes, shoes, bags, jewellery and just everything you can spend money on really. But for me it is not (only haha) about the fashion and beauty, for me it is spending money on a change. I need something new in my life every now and then, something exciting and something to look forward to, that is what gives me a thrill. Even if it is going food shopping it gives me a satisfaction feeling as I can decide when I want to try something new, what I can cook and bake that is different, new spices with different food. It gives me a sort of control out of it and I have a plan for the future week’s worth of food.

It is the same with clothes, I very very very easily get bored and cannot sit still at some points because I need that change in my life. I cannot get hung-up by watching TV every day after work, and then go to bed. It works maybe 2-3 times a week, but after that I feel that I am not achieving what I want with life and that I am just wasting it. I want to be able to look back at my life and be happy, or if something happens to me I want to look down (hopefully not up hahaha) and be proud. Life is such an thrilling thing to live, and therefore I want to live it. I don’t want to regret that I didn’t do stuff,  I rather regret that I did it. Not to accomplish anything and not to get any memories is just silly, that is throwing away your life. And some people might think that is what I am doing with clothes and other material things. But in my eyes I am not, I have a memory from my crazy period where I had a new outfit almost every day. Even if it is to buy new buttons to a jacket that gives me a thrill, I get excited for almost nothing and I am like a child but I do need it more but in small doses. To buy a new top and get excited to wear it the next day is something that makes me happy, as well as knowing that I have salmon in the fridge and will do an really good dish or something silly like that. It is mainly my childish way of thinking, but it is still very important for me as I need that opportunity to change, to have control over what I do with my life. It is so common to be lazy because that is the fastest way out.

I know sometimes you have days you just don’t want to do anything, and I do too. But to know that you wasted a good day just kills something inside of me... And then to ease that feeling I buy stuff, because I have use for it in the future and I have something to look forward to. I know, I won’t remember the top I am wearing today in 10 years time, but I will remember how colourful I was summer 2012 (not all days but still haha). I will remember the good times wearing this top, maybe I even remember the panic I had a few mornings when I couldn’t find any clothes to wear even I had the entire wardrobe full. Its just something small and silly, but my point is that I need something new in my life... New haircut, different chewing gum, new jeans, cook something new, just something that makes my day more significant and less boring for me.

I am the most impatient person ever, and I want things now now NOW! Same as a change, so instead of changing major things in my life that lasts for longer, I’ll go for smaller opportunities that I know will put a smile on my face. Even going out somewhere different in a car makes me happy! It is so weird and hard to explain for someone who doesn’t think the same, but I think it is fear of not achieving something new.  

My life is made for change, for living and for memories. I am creating them by my hobby (clothes) and to try something new every day. Some people despite change, and I live on it. Without change I would feel like I am ruining my life, like I have been given something that I throw away. For me, clothes is like a help regards to that, they are my rescue from a dull life. Plus, I look pretty in them and I can change them how much I want to without hurting anyone!

Change for me is necessary to that point I need it almost everyday, therefore material things is there to simplify it for me. I do some pretty massive things now and then as well, but that is maybe once a month. I wonder if there is a disease that makes me the way I am? Hmm, good one to look into!

Kind of, not sure if that made sense for you, but at least it is a try to an explanation haha I always get out of hand as well when I write, I easily go out of context.. So sorry about that J Im just way too busy to go back changing it as I have other stuff to focus on ;)